Learning to Rest

  (I'm posting this for Stephen, who wrote it last night and didn't get a chance to post it. He is currently on his way to Mango, and we will be joining him tomorrow)

  Did any of you look at the title of this the post and think, “Wait, we didn’t support Stephen so that he could have a vacation”?  Besides, Togo is not exactly the place one would come if he had relaxing in mind.  So why this post?  In seeking to be open and honest about what we are learning and how we are serving, I wanted to share how sometimes the challenges we face come in ways we may not expect.  I pray that it can lead you to better pray for us and for other missionaries you serve.

  Serving in Togo is like working in most of the world – there is more work than time in a day.  For the past week and a half, I was essentially the OB department from the hospital.  Considering there are about 400-500 babies delivered at the hospital (per year), that makes for a significant amount of work.  Unfortunately, babies are noncompliant little creatures who don’t work with their doctor’s requests to come between 9-5 on weekdays, but avoiding the lunch break (come to think of it, they don’t always comply with your request that they sleep through the night either as the get older).  Add into that the occasional birth emergency, the phone call about a new patient when you try to take a nap, the missed meals – and you can see the potential for being a bit tired.  On top of this, my daughter has had a cold (hence the other cause of interrupted sleep) and I want to be a good father and husband by spending time with my family.  You can see how this can lead to being tired and even (gasp!) grumpy.

  Don’t feel sorry for me…I’ve enjoyed serving, I’m learning a great deal, and I’m getting experience that would be hard to get back at home.  It’s not like things cannot run without me – the nurses here are very good, there is another Family Medicine doctor here who knows OB (but usually does surgery), and I’ve been told to take time off so I don’t work too hard.  However, I’ve noticed there can be a proud part of me that says, “I can do this,” and wants to feel indispensable.  Yes, I should work hard – I know how to and the Lord’s work is worth it.  Besides, there are full time missionaries who face these situations every day, so it’s an honor to take some of the load off them, even if it means expending myself.  But it’s a fine line between putting your all into your work for God’s glory and seeking your own glory. 

  I’ve realized it’s necessary to take some time off.  I can’t operate on 5-6 hours of sleep every night.  My family needs me.  God calls me to enjoy spending time with him.  None of these things happen if I make my work my sole focus.  Additionally, I come from a task-focused culture.  Here in Togo, the people are much more relationship-focused.  The reality is, God is very relationship focused.  If I neglect relationships (spending an extra minute getting to know the Togolese believers, praying with my patients, enjoying the company of the other missionaries) to accomplish tasks, there is something wrong with my focus no matter how hard I work.

  At the end of the day, God is teaching me to balance several important principles.  First, we should work hard in the service of ministry because God deserves this effort.  “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work for the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (I Cor 15.58).  “For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil,” I Thess. 2.9.  Second, all we do must be done in love or none of my efforts are worth anything (I Cor 13.1-3).  Third, all success ultimately comes because God is at work.  “And he said, ‘The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground.  He sleeps and rises night and day, and the see sprouts and grows; he knows not how” (Mark 4.26-27).  So we must work hard for the kingdom of God, but we cannot in pride think that its success is dependent upon our efforts.  So even rest becomes an exercise of faith, not because we are being lazy but because we realize our limitations and trust in a limitless God to accomplish His purposes.  We pursue faithfulness in love in all our responsibilities, pray for God to work through us and give us strength, and leave the results to His sovereign plan.

- Stephen