A Daily Brush with Life and Death

(A short disclaimer – after our last time in Togo, my pastor informed me that Lisa was the better writer; feel free to read on, but if your time is short you might be better with sticking to her posts. ;-)

This post is bit somber…I realize this as I write. That’s not to say we aren’t enjoying our time serving in Togo and aren’t experiencing many of God’s blessings. Yet my time has also impressed on my mind the brevity of life and the urgency with which we must consider our condition before God.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” Ps. 90:12. Whether it’s in America or Togo, our time on this earth is brief. It is just more evident here in Africa because people face death in starker terms. Two days ago, a mother brought in her daughter pulseless to one of my colleagues. He attempted a short resuscitation, but it was evident this girl had no life in her. She had been treated at an outside clinic with malaria medications, but had not been able to receive the blood she so desperately needed. This girl was the exact age of my daughter Evelyn. Two days ago a pregnant women came in for “swelling.” It turns out she has nephrotic syndrome (a type of kidney disease); she is also 23 weeks pregnant. Sadly, there is often no cure for this in adults and she won’t have access to dialysis. Will she live long enough to see her baby delivered? During rounds today, a middle age lady passed away from a massive variceal (in the esophagus from liver disease) bleed…she had come in too late for our care to make a difference. Even in the US, our best medical care only postpones death. Only God has raised the dead, and though some doctors may think they are God, I have never seen one do this.

Yet still a greater question remains. How do you face death knowing you are right with God? Whether it’s in the US or Togo, this is still the crucial question: “…it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment” Heb 9:27.

Medicine doesn’t have the answer to this question. In addition, there are so many other areas of life that intersect with the medical conditions my patients have, and yet medicine answers none of these. I can treat HIV, but that doesn’t solve the sense of betrayal a young pregnant woman feels towards her husband after receiving this new diagnosis. Nor does it help her deal with the stigma those diagnosed with HIV face in her culture, nor the guilt she may feel at knowing she can pass it on to her child and may have to those she has already given birth to. After I had diagnosed another lady with a recent miscarriage, she looked at me with tears and asked why each of her four pregnancies had ended this way. She desperately wants a child; she faces scorn from society and even possibly her husband for not being able to produce one. Maybe we can find a medical solution, though the answers are fewer to the poor in Africa. But how do we deal with these deeper questions of shame, despair, and betrayal?

It is moments like these, in the midst of the sadness, that I am so grateful I have a sovereign God. Some may ask why He allows such things. Yet I ask why He should give us anything good when we have turned our backs on Him. I’m not going to try to answer all these questions here. But I want to express what I have been reminded of – that my frailties are matched by an infinitely powerful and loving God. Medicine is humbling; I have some answers, but many things I don’t know. Medicine definitely does not provide the answers to these truly important questions. This is why I am so blessed to know a God who gives His answers in His Word. He is the Creator of all things, He provides hope in suffering, and He can make all things good for those who trust in Him. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” Mat. 11:28. Praise God we have this answer! ~ Stephen PS Our bags came...didn't realize I'd be so thankful for my boxers and sandals.

~ Stephen

PS  Our last bag came...didn't realize I'd be so thankful for boxers and sandals!